


Sing me a song

by harrystyles349



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Darcy - Freeform, M/M, Marriage, Older Harry, character death in the past, forever young louis, harry - Freeform, harry has a daughetr, louis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5177999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrystyles349/pseuds/harrystyles349
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>„I want you to sing one of your songs“,  his daughter says. He freezes for a moment.  He cant remember how much time passed since he last played one of his songs. For a moment the pain is nearly enough to take him away, but he pulls back and fakes a smile.</p>
<p>Or: Harry has to face his past, his life and a forever love on a special day after his daughter requests to hear him sing for her</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sing me a song

Sing me a song

 

„Daddy, Daddy sing me a song!“ 

Harry Styles laughs and bends down to pick up his smiling six year old daughter .

„You need to go to sleep love, you will be tired tomorrow.“ He pushes his fingers through her blond curls on top of her head and presses a kiss to her temple. 

„But Daddy!“, she whines and begins to struggle in his arms. „I can't sleep if you don't sing to me first!“

„What are you two arguing about?“, asked a voice behind them, and seconds later Harry feels the warm touch of his husband on his back. 

„Daddy won’t sing to me“, Darcy pouts adorably and Harry can’t fight the laugh that bubbles inside him. „Thats so mean Harry!“ Ben takes Darcy out of Harrys Arms and now two pair of brown eyes are starring at him accusingly. 

„Okay okay you two I give up. Come on love get Daddy his guitar and he sings for you.“ With a shriek of delight Darcy scrambles out of Bens arms and runs out to Harrys Room where he keeps all his singing stuff.

„She loves it when you sing for her“, Ben murmurs in his ear and grabs Harry by the waste. He is nearly as tall as Harry, and after years and years of being together, they learned to fit perfectly together. „You know I love it too.“ he continues before nuzzling his neck.

Harrys smile tightens for a second but he manages to answer. „It will only bring up old memories.“, he says carefully. They have this conversation often enough. How Harry should not shove his past away, that it’s not healthy to shut it all out. That he at least should contact the other boys again. 

But Harry always refused. When One Direction broke apart after five years of being together, Harry had fallen into a deep depression. It took a couple of years and a very determined Ben to get him smile again, and even more years to let him love again. And nearly as much time to let him sing again. He tries, for his children at least. Harry knows that they will find out as soon as they get older and learn to use the internet for proper research. Even now Harry is still present in Media, and every year on the anniversary, the papers warm up the story again and again. And it hurts so much every time. Harry knew that without Ben he probably would not have survived it either. 

 

But even now he didn't want to play just for him. Ben never questioned it, he knows about Harrys past, about HIM, but he never brings it up and Harry is thankful for that.  
„I better get her to sleep“, He sneaks out of the embrace and leaves the room. When he enters Darcys bedroom she is already waiting, his guitar lying beside her, but no notes. „Darling how am I supposed to sing when there are no notes“, he said lovingly and ruffles her Hair.

„I want you to sing one of your songs“, his daughter says. He freezes for a moment. He cant remember how much time passed since he last played one of his songs. For a moment the pain is nearly enough to take him away, but he pulls back and fakes a smile. „Darcy, Baby there are so many good songs…“

„I don’t wanna hear them. I wann hear yours Daddy. Please?“ He sights. „Come one, it's Christmas Eve Daddy. Please? Just one?“ Harry takes her hands, not able to look into her big pleading eyes.

„Okay“, he murmurs, nearly not audible. „Just one.“ His daughter starts to smile, a big smile that reaches her eyes and makes them sparkle. He loves that smile, he saw it the first time in the hospital when the nurse handed him the new born baby. And now she is already six. How the times flies, he thinks.

„Daddy!“ now his little girls starts to sound impatient.  
Harry grasps his guitar an stretches his fingers. It's been so long but he still remembers every line and every word of all the songs. For a second he stares right out of the window to the streets. Its not as dark as it should be for this hour, because the lights of the Christmas decoration lights everything up. Its a beautiful sight that brings up so many painful memories.

And suddenly he knows exactly what song he would play.

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me  
but bear this mind it was meant to be  
and I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks  
and it all makes sense to me

 

The memories came back like they have never been away. The boys sitting around, meeting Ed the first time, singing the song to hundreds and thousands of fans. It hurts so much but it feels so right at the same time. It seems like his hands and his voice never forgot any of the movements, and he's surprised that he didn't sound shaky.

I won't let this little things slip out of my mouth  
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to  
I'm in love with you and all these little things

 

He purposefully skips the next four lines. He always refused to sing this line, they belong to HIM. They always will. So he started with his solo right away and sees with amazement how Darcy snuggle further to him to rest her head next to his knees.

And bevor he knows he's singing Nialls solo, Niall, the blond Irish boy his daughter never met. They always joked around how Niall would be single forever and be this weird uncle who would come over and make the kids laugh. He probably doesn't even know his daughters name.

And I've just let this little things slip out of my mouth.  
Cause its you yeah its you, its you they ad up to

And suddenly he cant help it. His mind is full of smiles, laughter, kisses, touches, secret glances, hidden longing and deep desire. He knows ho to end the song.

And I'm in love with Lou  
And all his little things"

He feels the familiar ache in his heart. An Ache that started the moment he heard Liams cracked voice through the speakers of his phone. Telling him what happened.  
He somehow manages to brings the song to and end without crying.

He puts the guitar out of his hand and kisses his daughter on the Temple. „I like that song“, Darcy murmurs half a sleep.  
„I like it too“, he replies, and starts tucking her into the bed. 

„But Daddy, who is Lou?“  
He stops in his movement and sits carefully back.

Who is Lou? The love of your live, a mean voice in his head whispers. He shakes his head and then looks at Darcy. For a moment he wants to tell her. Everything. But then he remembers that Darcy has been on this earth for only six years.

She knows him and her Dad, Ben, a loving men who would give her the world if she asked for it. To both of them. She doesn’t know about the auditions, the small tours, the big tours and the bigger tours. She doesn't know about fake girlfriends and a womanizer image. She doesn't know about the drugs, the pills and the bathtub without water. She should not know this. It wasn't hers to deal with. 

„Nobody darling. I just made this Name up. It seems to fit in“, he smiles. He need to get out of here. 

„But you are going to sleep now princess. No butts, you won’t be able keep your eyes open tomorrow if you don't." Darcy shuts her mouth and snuggles into the sheets.  
„Night Daddy.“ she says with a sleepy voice.

„Night Princess. I love you.“

He carefully closes the door behind him and nearly jumps five feet in the air. Ben is sitting on the floor, his hands faltered in his lap. He must had heard everything  
He is nobody.

He cant look his husband in the eyes so he turns around and hurries down the floor into the kitchens. He purrs himself a glass of water and sights when he hears footsteps approaching.  
„I'm not mad Harry.“

That weren't the words he was expecting.  
„What?“ Ben takes two steps into the kitchen but stops when Harry flinches back. „I'm not mad“ he repeats

„You have every right to be“, he murmurs silent.  
„No i don’t.“ 

Surprised, Harry turns his head. „I know you love me Harry. I wouldn't have married you if I knew it was a lie.“

He takes a slow step closer. „But I know you never stopped loving him. And I know that you will never love me like you loved him. I've seen you two interacting. Even back then, I know that not even death could not tear you two apart.“

„I'm sorry.“  
„Don't be“. Pause. 

„I know why. Why today, why this song. Its his birthday isn't it?“  
„It would have been his birthday“ he corrects Ben gently. " But yes you are right."

There is a Moment of silence.

„I still don't know why he took the pills. Why he slit his wrist open and let himself bleed to death in our bathtub. Its been so long but I still fell like I failed. Like I could have saved him.“  
„It wasn't your fault Harry. He did it because of the wedding and thats the fault of your management entirely.“

„Taylor Swift. From all women they had to take Taylor Swift. Louis could not stand her guts“. He nearly chuckles. " I begged them to let me explain it to him. That I was never going to do this. They found out that he was already drunk when he read the article. I knew something was up when he didn't pick up his phone. But I came to late. He was already gone."  
He turns his head to his husband. 

„I was so angry and sad you can't imagine. I was millimeters away from following him. But then you came along. And you saved me. You and Darcy.“ Ben reaches out and takes Harrys hand.  
„I just think that you should start to working things up. You should contact your friends again Harry. I would be better for all of you. Just think about it."  
And with that he leaves the kitchen.

Later that night Harry sits in front of the fire. For the first time in years he allows himself to think about Louis, and how mich he loved him and still does.  
And as he stares outside into the darkening night and he wonders if anyone outside there remembers that there was a Louis Tomlinson and that tonight was his birthday. 

What he didn't know is that in the same moment, millions of mothers and Grandmothers, girls and women of all age, took the day of to allow themselves to think about their past. About their teenage years and a band named One Direction. A band who fell apart when the oldest member took his live and left a mess behind nobody could ever clean up. They take out pictures and old videos, talk to each other of how much friendship there was between them. 

And they all take a special moment to remember the love between the oldest and the youngest of them. They know that just like them, Harry will never forget Louis, that the ship sails without its compass, without any rope for the anchor to stop.  
But they hope that he is happy. And they know he is.


End file.
